The end of summer means going back to school, or starting school for the first time, for many children. While it is often a welcome time for many parents after a long summer of having the kids in the house all day, other parents become a little sad at the thought of their kids going to school, especially if it is for the first time, or anxious when they consider what challenges their children will be facing.
In addition to the usual social and educational stresses of going to school, kids are faced with many other issues, including drug use, violence, suicide and bullies. Talking with your children about these issues at age appropriate times may help decrease their chances of becoming a victim to them.
It is also a good idea to regularly talk with your child about how school is going. Regular communication will help you to recognize problems early, before they get out of control and when it is easier to intervene. Does your child like going to school? Is he making friends? How are his grades? Is there anything he doesn't like about school? What happens during breaks, such as recess, lunch and in between classes? Breaktime is when children are most likely to be unsupervised and when problems are likely to occur, so asking open ended questions about what happens during these times may help you to recognize problem behaviors.
Other topics and issues you should review as your child goes back to school include:
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As part of the preparation for your child going to school, you should find and review his immunization records. Are his shots current? Many schools are being rigid about not allowing children to attend school who do not meet their current immunization requirements. Preparing early and getting your child immunized can prevent a frantic call to your Pediatrician and a rush to get shots.
What shots does your child need to attend kindergarten or the first grade? In addition to the shots he received as an infant, school age children usually need booster doses of the MMR, DTaP and IPV vaccines. These boosters are commonly given at the 4-6 year old well child visits.
In addition to these boosters, your child may also need the chickenpox vaccine (Varivax) if he hasn't already been immunized or had a natural case of chickenpox and the Hepatitis B series. Older children also require a tetanus booster. This is usually given around the age of twelve years, but because of a current shortage of the tetanus vaccine there has been a call to delay this booster until 2002.
For more information: search for state vaccine requirements for school entry.
College bound children, in addition to the routine immunization requirements, may also need a meningitis shot. Current recommendations are for college freshman, especially if they will be living in a dormitory, to receive one dose of the Meningococcal vaccine.
Topics that you should discuss with your college bound kids, and which hopefully you have already talked about many times, include binge drinking, sex education, safe sex, sexually transmitted diseases, abstinence, date rape and the availability of the morning after pill.
Another topic that has come up recently is the targeting of college age students with credit cards. These credit cards usually don't require that a student works, do not need parental approval and often come without any counseling on the importance of paying off the balance each month, how the interest rate works or the dangers of building up a big balance. Although a credit card is very convenient for students in college, educate your children about how they work and consider getting a card with a small credit limit, a monthly spending cap or get a joint card so that you can see the bills.
There are many reasons for children to underperform at school, including a lack of motivation to do well, problems at home or with peers, poor work habits or study skills, emotional and behavior problems, learning disabilities (such as dyslexia), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, mental retardation or below average intelligence and other medical problems, including anxiety and depression. It is important to find the reason for your child's poor performance, especially if she is failing, and come up with a treatment plan so that she can perform up to her full potential.
Another reason to get your child help, is that doing poorly in school can easily lead to problems with low self-esteem, behavior problems and depression.
It is sometimes difficult to figure out if a child's problems at school are caused by their other medical problems, such as depression, or if these other problems began because of their poor school performance. Children who do poorly at school may be under a lot of stress, and will develop different ways to cope with this stress. Some may externalize their feelings, which can lead to acting out and behavior problems or becoming the class clown. Other children will internalize their feelings, and will develop almost daily complaints of headaches or stomachaches. A thorough evaluation by an experienced professional is usually needed to correctly diagnose children with complex problems.
When you realize your child has a problem at school, you should schedule a meeting with her teacher to discuss the problem. Other resources that may be helpful including talking with the school psychologist or counselor or your Pediatrician. The most important thing is to begin to get help as soon as you recognize that there may be a problem.
For help with your child's homework: The Education of Children and Youth with Special Needs: What do the Laws Say?.
Bullying is a big problem among school age children. Since victims of bullies usually don't seek help, it is important to look for signs that your child is being bullied, including trying to avoid going to school, having a change in his usual personality, or a change in his grades. Talking about bullying with your child may also help to prevent your child from becoming a bully or it can let him know that he should tell an adult if he sees another child being bullied.
For more information: Bullying and Children.
It is also very important to begin communicating with your child to help prevent them from picking up bad habits, such as the use of tobacco, alcohol and drugs (including the use of inhalants,aerosols and glue,and newer drugs like GHB and Ecstasy which many kids think are safe). Children whose parents talk to them regularly are at much less risk for experimenting with cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. Teach them how to avoid situations where drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes are present and to choose friends who also choose not to use these substances. Emphasize to them that these substances can hurt them, can make them sick, can cause decrease lung function and problems playing sports, and that it is OK to say no. Also, do not let them attend parties that are unsupervised by adults and let your child know that they can communicate openly with you about these difficult subjects. Watch for the warning signs of drug use, including a sudden change in your child's behavior or personality, decreased performance in school, or changes in which friends they associate with.
Does your child have a chronic medical condition that may need to be addressed at school, such as asthma, food allergies, diabetes, seizures, etc? Do you have his medications available at school? Does the school have a full time health professional? If not, who is responsible for health related student problems? Is there a backup plan in place if this designated person isn't available? Does the school have a treatment plan and know what to do if there is a worsening of his condition? Are your emergency contact numbers current?
Having regular contact with the school nurse and/or other school personnel is a good idea, especially if your child has a serious, or potentially life threatening condition.
For more information: Pediatric Diseases and Conditions.
How will your child get to school? Will he take the bus, walk, ride his bike, or drive, or will you or a friend drive him? Each of these modes of transportation have their own safety risks that should be reviewed.
Is your child's route to school safe? Does he have to cross any major roadways? Is he always supervised or with a friend? Does he know what to do if a stranger approaches him on the way to school?
Taking the time to make sure your child has a safe route to school, knows how to cross the street and has a safe place to go if a stranger approaches him, will help to make sure that he gets to school safely.
For more information: Security Is A Family Matter.
What will your child do afterschool? Will he be home alone?
Before you leave your child at home alone, you should make sure that he feels safe and comfortable and can handle the responsibility. Most children are not ready to be left alone until they are at least eleven or twelve years old, but it will depend on your child's maturity level. You may want to gradually let him stay home alone for very short times to make sure he is ready. Some things to review before you leave your teen home alone include:
- Make sure that he is comfortable staying home alone.
- He should know his full name, address and phone number. He should also know how to reach you at work.
- He should know how to deal with situations that may arise while he is alone. He should know to not open the door if someone knocks in any situation (you can review different situations that may occur). He should not open the door even if they say they have an important package or if they say they are a policeman. Instead of opening the door in uncertain situations, he should know to call you first.
- Also review what to do in emergency situations, such as a fire. Make sure he knows how to call 911 and know to get out of the house in case of a fire.
- Structure his time when he is home alone. Be clear about any chores, homework, or other things that he is supposed to do. Have a routine that he must perform when he gets home, including locking the door and checking in with you if possible.
- Childproof the home. Remove guns and lock away alcohol or medicines.
- Be clear about any restrictions that you may have, including not using the stove or other appliances.
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